There are people on my Facebook who engage enthusiastically with all kinds of nuttery on social media. I, on the other hand, prefer to keep away, snarling only when the prejudice flaunted in my face is too ugly to ignore.
Yesterday, however, with sleep proving elusive, I decided to amuse myself with the hair-trigger insanity of the boldly anonymous “patriot” on Twitter. And it was fabulous! (By which I mean it was fable-like in its detachment from reality or logic.)
If you’ve never before encountered the hilarity that is the permanently terrified “Hindus are under attack!” wing-nut on social media, I highly recommend the experience. You will laugh out loud. Especially extra super funny is the conviction of these hysterical gentlefolks that they have calm rationality coming out of his ears. My interlocutor lost it when I called him “sweetie”, and started jumping up and down, hyperventilating and demanding I stop “abusing” him immediately! Then he demanded I stop getting “so excited”.
What can I say, I love a good circus. Sometimes. Here are the highlights, although with predictable cowardice, he’s deleted his initial inflammatory tweet about it being only “humanitarian” to protect Muslims in today’s world, not Hindus, and how this will destroy the Hindu majority.
Then I decided to mess with him a little. Sadly, he was hell-bent on showing off his cosmopolitan humour credentials.
But then it hit him that he’d just let a juicy bone by. Oh no! He promptly jumped back to it, and to make up for the first miss, REFUSED to let go. No comment about our hero cops shall go unanswered!!! Not on the patriot brigade’s watch! Especially if it’s a comment they don’t understand!
At this point, the charm of his muddle-headed hysterics was beginning to fade, so the partner and I went to bed with a couple of murder mysteries instead. This morning, I woke up to find this pile of cold dung on my timeline.
Can you practically see him dance from foot to foot in hyper delight at catching a “leftie liberal Islamophile” out? Aww, it made my morning.
And then I saw his final flourish (though he ruined it by going back to his favourite bone). Laugh-out-loud stuff. Go poke this beast through the bars of his anonymity, people. Outrage-powered nutjobs are a gift that keeps giving.